Time

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I’ve been thinking a lot about consistency. Steadiness. Routine. Rootedness. Doing the same thing for years in and out.

The value of a long length of time.

My life has hardly had any of that. It feels like there’s rarely or never even a two year period where there isn’t some kind of significant change.

0-5 I lived in like 3 different places.

5-…9… probably the most steady period of my life I guess I’d have to say.

10 - parents separated

11 - started private school, mom got sick

13 - dad moved us from small town VA to suburbs of NY city, I started 8th grade.

14 - started high school, so there’s another change.

16 - dad remarries (the wicked witch of the west, like, literally)

18 - college

19- transferred schools

21 - transferred back, wicked witch disowns me and siblings but they stay married

23 - graduated, thrust into adulthood in an unwelcome way

24 - took a change on my big dream to live in CO

25 - got married (big mistake)

26 - divorced (told you)

26-32…relative consistency except for the moves (since I’m a renter) and job changes that were too frequent)

32 - move to NC to be home on the East Coast and close to family.

32-present… more small moves and unfortunately due to the contractor culture out here, no permanent job status

So, for obvious reasons, I’ve been thinking a lot about time.

Being in the same place, the same town, the same residence, the same job, for years and years.

It’s alluded me, but I don’t want it to. I want some consistency. I want the chance to be in the same town and the same residence and the same job for years and years. I’m trying!

It’s not for lack of trying.

But I think there’s also part of me that gets bored of it quickly and needs constant change.

It’s like a different kind of ADD.

But I don’t want to be like that. And I don’t think it’s healthy to be like that. I think there’s some kind of brokenness in that. I think that we’re actually probably designed for more consistency than we think.

As a culture, we think we value excitement and adventure and that those come with doing new things all the time, but if you look deeper, we reward things as they increase in length of time.

We honor those who have worked at one company for a long time.

We honor the couples who have been married for a long time.

We honor the people who have dedicated themselves to serving a community for a long period of time (Mother Theresa in Calcutta).

People say that the young people of today don’t understand the value of dedicating years to one thing, and I agree. I think as we’ve grown up, we haven’t been taught that.

I think those of us who grew up in broken families likely haven’t been taught that.

I think frequent changing has been somewhat of a learned, broken default of mine, but I don’t want it to be.

I want the opportunity to learn and sow into the value of time.

I think if more of us recognized the value of sowing in time than we would reap happier lives.